Rob and Anna's travel adventure

Rob's Entry

Our homestay request was met with an invitation to come whenever we wanted, stay as long as we like. We could hardly believe our luck. Furthermore, our stay was walking distance to the Taj (as in Mahal). A quick telephone call to coordinate meeting confirmed the hospitality- our host family was excited with us being their guests.

Seems as though our host family was very well connected, everyone we encountered knew the family. We were advised to take the pre-paid taxi as others want our hosts to pay them extra for bringing travelers, the drivers thinking that the family is running a lodging business. But of course this isn't the case, our homestays are STRICTLY non-business (by mandate of the organization).

There were four main players in our family, the first met was a very interesting man (the grandfather). He was an outstanding host, very intellectual, versed in literature, philosophy, explained that he grew up 'filthy rich' and had a career as a member of parliament. He couldn't go anywhere without people recognizing him. He explained some aspects of meditation and philosophy, some of which I could draw parallels in science- and even quantum features. We were reminded several times to make ourselves at home, this was no boarding house, and we were members of the family now. This was promising to be one of the best homestays.

His wife, we were told, was a very active member in the community and well known for her charity work. We were showed several recent publications (magazines and newspapers) with her picture. Everything was in Hindi, and we were asked if we knew any of the language. Of course it is the same as Chinese to us, not knowing a word. We were informed that we were the invited guests of three of his friends, and were asked with whom we'd like to meet the first evening. One friend is a specialists in textiles, another in carpets, and the last in gems. Hmmm.

After settling in, our hosts came to our room. They were curious how we traveled, what sorts of things we bought along the way. Our clothing was of interest, and Anna mentioned that she planned on donating her coat in India when she didn't need it anymore. This generated some interest in the older lady, as she in involved in charity. They asked about our lives, careers, where we lived, etc. Did we have an address to ship stuff to if we didn't want to carry it with us? They talked about Indian banks, interest rates, and inquired about US banking. Can money be easily withdrawn, or is it locked in? How are we handling money during our travels (I assume plastic vs. traveler check vs. cash, etc.). We didn't think too much about the questioning, our Indian friend in the US told us that money questions are quite common, and we have been asked by other hosts directly how much money we made, etc. We asked if they kept in touch with other Servas guests from the past. They replied that they did with a few, which surprised us. Such hospitality and personalities should have them overrun with friends. A little odd.....

We met the son, probably mid thirties, a very polite and personable man. He also reminded us that we were family now and to be comfortable with the hospitality. His wife's sole purpose (from what we observed) was to cook (for us too) and take care of their two children. We had some tasty home-cooked meals there. She later told Anna how lucky she was, she could choose where she wanted to work. But for her, her kitchen was her life, seemingly captive.

Having a science interest, I select to meet with the gem friend, thinking mineralogy, etc. We made it very clear several times that we had absolutely no interest whatsoever in buying anything- which was all fine. His friend sent a car and driver for us and we were warmly greeted. We were asked about our backgrounds, etc., and we too were 'family', seemingly by association with our host. We were offered things to eat and drink, but we politely declined. Our host disappeared, finding enjoyment in the provided spirits, snacks, etc. We looked at all the trinkets, and having virtually nothing to talking about, we were asked if anything interested us. It was all interesting, to a point. Then we were asked directly if we'd like to buy anything. We explained that we were not interested, looked a bit more (pretending to care), and sought out our host.

By this time, our host was fairly toasted, but fortunately was a happy drunk. Interestingly, he still retained much of his intellectual demeanor, and seemed to have a low opinion of his family. He explained that our gratitude was fine for his family of 'commoners', but that it was almost inappropriate for him, and we seemed to be in his elitist club of western/intellectual-thinkers. After our afternoon meeting with his wife, banking questions and friends in gems, textiles, and carpets, we had been on alert. While in the home, we were quite locked in. Our access to outside wasn't denied, but there would be little we could do if they didn't comply. Having him juiced up gave us an opportunity to probe more of what his intentions with us were. After this time, we concluded that the worst of our concerns were probably not justified, but the family was on probation in our mind. The trip to the gem friend was apparently a 'soft' pitch for us to buy, and an opportunity for our host to get drunk free. I also do believe that he respected us more than his family of "commoners".

Day 2

Our second day was spent entirely at the Taj Mahal, much to the surprise of our hosts (they mentioned the previous day of a restaurant, but we suspected some upscale establishment of a 'friend' and we'd end up paying big). The entrance was a stiff charge, and we were determined to take full advantage of our first (and probably last) trip to the monument. Our host claimed to be an eleventh generation of one of the marble craftsmen that worked on the original. And our host had a surprise for us- a factory tour.

Our host family owned a marble 'factory'. As I've been on many plant tours in the past (where the Trident submarine shafts are made, largest composite facility in the world, the largest building in the world where 747's are assembled, where some of the largest yachts are produced, a Czech steel forge shop, Alcoa aluminum, and many others come to mind), I cautiously looked forward to visit another production shop. The 'factory' consisted on three stations, each cleverly powered by a stone attached to a drum. The drum was wrapped by a string, the string was attached by a bow (like on a violin). The bow was moved forward and backwards, and the string caused rotation in the drum, which spun the stone plate. The was a human-powered grinding wheel. All clever, no pollution, and undoubtedly painfully slow. I'm OK with all that, keeping people busy that have all the time in the world- and without emissions or pollution. I also think that the slow rotation speed also allows a lot of control in grinding rocks (after all, only a little bit of material is removed at a time).

The 'tour' began by explaining that Anna and I were "family", and by us explaining about ourselves. Then the tour began by holding up some homemade exhibits of various stones and gems, and what seemed like a fairly polished 'pitch'. As they all worked on the Taj, they knew the construction techniques and used them in the shop. Therefore, the connection was made that after being overwhelmed by the Taj Mahal, we could come to the 'factory' and buy a piece of the Taj. No pressure however, our guide was just happy to have us listen to the presentation made hundreds of times before- all to prospective customers. Construction techniques and materials quickly transitioned to how worldwide shipping obstacles are overcome, shipping packages are robust, credit cards accepted, etc. Several key points made for tangible proof of everyone's true intentions. The first came with the claim that the Indian government allows FREE shipping of handicrafts out of the county to stimulate business. In other words, my understanding was, that the government picks up the tab for DHL and you pay no shipping charges. This later came into question when we were told that we would be given a discount if we took items with us rather than shipping. Of course one could argue that packaging efforts wouldn't be involved, but watching people all day long (and in the shop) selling their time for next to nothing, I can't believe any discount was related to packing.

We were taken to the show room next, more exhibits demonstrating the virtues of marble, and elaborate explanations of how a marble plate could be used for a stand, decorative piece, cutting surface, etc. As our interests waned, we were showed smaller and smaller pieces, with the hopes that some threshold of size, cost, etc. could be found. During this time, I detected the next BS point. Just for us, honored guests, 'family', they would do a one-time free engraving for us on any piece purchased. Later we were told that all engraving is free for everyone (it takes seconds to perform).

We were next take to the final show room, filled with small knickknacks, bobbles, etc. Throughout the whole 'tour', we were explained how everything was made by 'hand', no machinery, etc. I asked our guide how a very circular and deep hole was made in a small block of marble. He insisted it was chipped out with a chisel, though clearly circular machining marks were evident. Pointing them out, he still insisted all by hand. Then I asked the same of another similar piece, then he confessed that one came from the supplier pre-drilled by machinery. Yeah, most all pieces came that way- busted again. As this was going nowhere in their eyes, we were asked if we liked anything. Not wanting to be insulting (or difficult), we stated that we liked it all, and that it was all very nice. A bit later, we were directly asked if we wanted to buy anything. We politely declined, and when pressed further to why, proceeded to explain our minimalist philosophy towards material things (especially junk, but we didn't bring up that facet). That seemed to bring us to a quick close to the plant tour. What a sham. We were also somewhat relieved about our situation, the family was obviously small-time in their ambitions. Though we represent vast resources, they seem content on profiting from us via trinkets. We need to plan our exodus soon however.

Day 3

All nights were cold, and we slept with all our clothes and coats on, but still we suffered. Though we were offered to stay as long as we want, it was clear that for our overall well-being, we need to move on. We planned our day around leaving, and proceeded to leave our room to have our usual social interaction with the family and head out to do our business (transportation tickets, etc.). We were greeted that morning by the grandmother- the one with all the 'charity' work. She wanted a donation for her charity, and she wanted it now (as she was leaving soon to make the donation). We were shocked, so she clarified. She explained that as we stayed in her house for free, we saved money for us to donate. Now. Anna explained that this conversation was very uncomfortable (the daughter-in-law seemed embarrassed by the whole spectacle), so our host started working on Anna's coat. She wanted the coat. Anna explained that it was cold and was still using it, and the coat was not up for consideration of being donated. Our host explained that it was already promised to someone, to which Anna replied that it was her business to whom and when she donated her coat. We were left to consider what type of 'donation' we were to make. I gave her 500 Rupees (about $12), which seemed to please her greatly. Anna was mad as hell, but I was so shocked that it hit me later. I was also glad that as bad as that situation could have become, we got out of it OK. In actual monetary terms, we came out about even considering the cost of accommodation for three nights. On the one hand, we froze every night and had some uncomfortable moments, but also had some good home food. Probably more valuable is a wake-up that not everyone in our homestay organization is trustworthy. After some extremely good homestays, we had become perhaps too trusting. Finally, they may have won the battle, but we'll see that they lose the war by reporting them to our organization, and get them removed from the host list to never exploit people like us again. In hind sight, we should have packed our bags right there and left without any 'donation', but our stuff was out, and locking us in could have been a problem. It also reiterated how small-time they were. They were determined to get something, I'm glad that was all. We spent the rest of the day away, planning our departure, etc. We returned and declined supper (we wanted nothing more from this outfit).

Last day

We got up plenty early to have time to deal with any shenanigans. Fortunately, all went smoothly, except when the grandmother was to unlock the door for us to leave the house. There was the issue of the coat. She still wanted it, to donate, but would accept us sending it to her (making sure we had her address). Anna asked what difference it made who got it, as long as it went to the poor. It made a difference as she already promised it to "someone". She insisted that we acknowledge that it would be possible to have it sent. Anna refused to admit that it was possible. The host insisted again that it must be possible. I agreed that it was certainly possible that we would send it (after all, anything is possible), especially as she was holding the keys. Of course I have absolutely no intention of giving them anything except expulsion from our homestay organization, but whatever to get us our freedom from the WORST HOMESTAY IN OUR LIVES.

We realize that virtually everything about this homestay was coordinated around getting something from us. Whether it be buy gems from their 'friend', marble from their shop, probably a restaurant meal, coat AND donation, etc., everything was focus around a hustle. How we bank, travel, what kind of clothing we have/buy, do we own a house/car/etc., all was to size us up as potential gain for them. Their loss, all around.